Friday, October 30, 2009


Over a month ago, when D and I found out the doctor recommended IVF, I told a few people. One in particular I asked not to tell anyone else in our friend group because I wasn't sure how many people I was going to tell we were planning on doing IVF (some of them are very religious and have strong opinions about what happens to the embryos we may not need, and I wasn't in the mood for a lecture). Anyway, at the religious couple's house, a few friends got together, and I wasn't there. My friend told two or three other women that D and I were told IVF was our best bet and that we had started saving money. WTF? She told me about it the next day and she felt really bad about it, so I let it go. I figured I probably would have ended up telling them at some point anyway.


I have now hung out with those women, and because I wasn't the one who got to tell them, if IVF gets mentioned, it's like it's no big deal because they already knew. I think it's VERY big. It's very expensive and trying and stressful. I now feel like I lost a bit of my support system, and that sucks. I didn't get to share any of the details, or field any of their questions because my other friend did all that. It's MY (and D's) story, and I want to be the one to tell it.

1 comment:

  1. Just found your blog. I agree that that sucks. That's why we have NOT told friends. It would be really juicy gossip, even if people mean well. "Did you hear that Jem and Mr. Jem are TTC and have done IVF? She's on her TWW. I wonder if she'll get KU."

    Pretty darn juicy. And you are right, your story gets hijacked.

    It's really nice to be able to go to parties and dinner and NOT talk about or think about IF.