Saturday, December 26, 2009

IVF veterans

Any questions I should ask at our big meeting on the 14th (injection class, IVF consent signing, etc)? Thanks!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

It's here! It's here!

So my period came this morning. I just called the RE's office, and got straight through! The nurse is going to call me back with more specific instructions in a bit (when to start and stop the pill, etc). I feel so excited, but at the same time, I keep thinking "Holy shit! We are really doing this!"

Monday, December 21, 2009

only infertiles

I am waiting for my period to arrive this week so I can call the RE's office and start birth control pills in preparation for IVF in January. This morning I was thinking, "I can't wait for my period to start." And then I thought, only infertiles (or people who don't want to be pregnant, I suppose) ever feel that way at some point in their infertility journey. It's all about waiting, and once you finally arrive at the point of taking part in some type of procedure, you almost always have to wait until your period starts again. Sure, I hope it won't come, and the "one sperm" that it takes actually made it through the non-moving ones and fertilized an egg. But my logical side knows that is highly unlikely, so I am in the "it's almost here! it's almost here!" thinking that a person usually has for Christmas and birthdays. I suppose I have it for Christmas too, but more for getting the final process started.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

punch to the gut

I had been doing so well. Plans for starting the IVF process in January were keeping me relatively optimistic. A few pregnancy announcements have come up, and I didn't cry at all....until last night. D's mom sent some cryptic email asking if we had talked to D's sister lately. Um, we never talk to her. So D's dad called last night (after D and I saw the Rifftrax - formerly the guys from Mystery Science Theater - presentation of some Christmas shorts; I haven't laughed that hard in a long time) to tell us that D's sister is pregnant. She had her first kid her senior year of high school, and has talked a lot about how she doesn't want another one. Her son is now almost 11. So she was preventing pregnancy, doesn't want a baby, yet she ends up pregnant.

I can handle the pregnancy announcements that come from people who were trying (even if they get pregnant on the second try, I at least know they WANT a baby), but the ones who were using fucking birth control and still manage to get pregnant? I have a little trouble dealing with those.

So I ended up crying on the drive home. Which really pissed me off because D and I were having such a nice night otherwise.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

in news completely unrelated to infertility

I am a teacher, and I live in the midwest. We got DUMPED with snow (my husband and I were trying to clear the driveway today, and we had drifts that were at least 3 feet deep; I think our total snowfall for the two days was more than 10 inches) over the past two days, and tomorrow is DAY 3 of no school! The semester is ending on the 18th, so now I have to figure out how to revise my lesson plans so that I can finish everything I'm supposed to before then.

Friday, December 4, 2009

infertility curiosity

I have noticed that people tend to ask me this question a lot: "how are...things?" Like they want to know what's going on with me and D fertility-wise, but they don't know what/how to ask. One co-worker friend asks this fairly frequently, but sometimes he asks something like "how are things on the baby front?" Then I know he wants details, but the first, vague question doesn't tell me that. I feel like I've laid it all out for people several times, and it makes some of them uncomfortable. It's hard to gauge how much people want to know. I don't really care who knows what (as long as I'm the one to tell them), but some of them don't really want to know, you know? :)

Tuesday, December 1, 2009


So now I have a friend who doesn't want kids ever who thinks she might be pregnant. She made a post (most of us communicate/keep in touch via livejournal) asking for advice and early pregnancy symptoms from those who have been pregnant. I was surprised at how many people I know who have had abortions. I've always been pro-choice, so that's not really the issue. But it just drove home to me how random infertility is. Several of the women who had abortions now are either pregnant or have recently had a baby. I've never even thought I might be pregnant (except for the month since D and I started trying that my period was late thanks to hyperstimulated ovaries), yet I want to be so badly. These women have thrown away chances at babies, yet were still able to conceive when they wanted to. It just sucks all around.