Tuesday, April 13, 2010

getting better

Some things still set me off, but I've been able to manage a lot better. Sort of the way I did during our saving up for IVF time. D's mom is the worst though. D's sister is pregnant (with a prevented, un-wanted baby), so D's mom has been buying baby stuff for her. Every time we see her she tells us the same stories, and lately they've been about the baby's name, and about all the baby stuff she bought, and she likes to get specific. The first time she did this, it had been only about three weeks since we found out our pregnancy wouldn't last and that it meant no kids for us. She is very insensitive to the fact that what she says might cause us pain. At least D understands, and he squeezes my hand a little harder to let me know he knows.

We are adding a second vegetable garden this weekend. We tried gardening last summer for the first time with a raised 4x8 bed. We grew potatoes, sugar snap peas, green beans, lettuce, tomatoes, strawberries, and cucumbers. This year we are going to keep all those things, but add in shelling peas, corn, peppers, and beets.

School is almost out for the summer. I don't know if that will make things worse or easier. I will have more time to myself which might mean more time with my thoughts. I'm sure there will be lots of tears, but I'm hoping it will be a good thing to release it all.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry his mom is being so insensitive, what you've been through is not something you will get over. I do hope that the vegetable garden project keeps you a bit distracted and helps make things a tiny bit easier. Big hugs.