I hosted the baby shower with no issues. I even started my period two hours before the first guests arrived. I got a tiny bit sad during the gift opening (I refrained from oohing and aahing over every cute baby item, thinking that if I started letting myself gush over how cute things are, that might break down the wall of emotion), and I left the room to go sit with a different group of friends when the conversation turned to exchanging ultrasound and cervix and labor stories. Even though I actually could have contributed some ultrasound experiences, I really didn't want to talk about infertility struggles.
Later, I asked my husband if he got sad at all (since the shower was co-ed, he was there during the gift opening too), and he said a little during the gifts, thinking "we'll never need that...or that...or that" but then he thought of what we do have, and then he was better. Aw!
A year ago I would have been a mess even attending a baby shower, so I'm definitely proud of the progress I've made that I could not only attend one, but actually host it. This isn't to say that the next time I'm invited to a baby shower that I will definitely go, but I'm not a definite no anymore.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
wish me luck
Today is the day that I host a baby shower. Yikes.
Although I am PMSing, and cried a little last night because I felt fat because the band shirt my husband bought me at Warped Tour is too small (even though it's because it's the wrong size...stupid women shirt sizes, I just wish it would have fit), I handled shopping in the baby department Thursday evening very well. Instead of gushing over how cute everything was, I kept thinking "jesus, this stuff is pricey, and you have to buy more like every few months." So hopefully, that logic continues today. We'll see what kind of shape I am in at 7:30 after everyone leaves.
Although I am PMSing, and cried a little last night because I felt fat because the band shirt my husband bought me at Warped Tour is too small (even though it's because it's the wrong size...stupid women shirt sizes, I just wish it would have fit), I handled shopping in the baby department Thursday evening very well. Instead of gushing over how cute everything was, I kept thinking "jesus, this stuff is pricey, and you have to buy more like every few months." So hopefully, that logic continues today. We'll see what kind of shape I am in at 7:30 after everyone leaves.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
second annual no kids summer trip
This year we drove to Ohio to visit Cedar Point and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum.
Sunday we drove 13 hours, Monday we got up bright and early for our one hour early entry into the park since we stayed at a Cedar Point resort (the cheaper off-site one), so that was awesome. The park is so nice and clean and it has lots of trees so you aren't just baking in the sun all day. The rides are awesome. My favorite is Millenium Force. D's favorite is Top Thrill Dragster. Tuesday, we did the same thing, but rode everything we missed the first day, and rode our favorites again. Wednesday, we slept in a little and then drove to Cleveland, had lunch, strolled through the museum, went inside Johnny Cash's tour bus (by far my favorite part of the museum), had dinner and drove back to Sandusky to sleep and pack. Then on Thursday, we drove 13 hours home, and then Friday, I had to get up early for a work meeting. So I have sat around doing mostly nothing for the weekend.
Noticeable childfree things: parents at an amusement park with their kids do not look happy most of the time, parents with young children don't get to ride rides together: they have to take turns. So we definitely saw benefits to our childfree living.
Sunday we drove 13 hours, Monday we got up bright and early for our one hour early entry into the park since we stayed at a Cedar Point resort (the cheaper off-site one), so that was awesome. The park is so nice and clean and it has lots of trees so you aren't just baking in the sun all day. The rides are awesome. My favorite is Millenium Force. D's favorite is Top Thrill Dragster. Tuesday, we did the same thing, but rode everything we missed the first day, and rode our favorites again. Wednesday, we slept in a little and then drove to Cleveland, had lunch, strolled through the museum, went inside Johnny Cash's tour bus (by far my favorite part of the museum), had dinner and drove back to Sandusky to sleep and pack. Then on Thursday, we drove 13 hours home, and then Friday, I had to get up early for a work meeting. So I have sat around doing mostly nothing for the weekend.
Noticeable childfree things: parents at an amusement park with their kids do not look happy most of the time, parents with young children don't get to ride rides together: they have to take turns. So we definitely saw benefits to our childfree living.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Summertime
School was out on May 24th, but then I had to help write new curriculum (mentally draining) every day until June 22nd. So now my summer has officially begun. I kicked it off with a visit from my parents and my nephew for my birthday weekend. I am now a perfect square (36 for you non-mathy people). It was a pretty good time. We grilled out a lot. I got the game Mad Gab from my sister and her husband, some money from my parents, and a citrus juicer from my husband.
So far I have made fresh-squeezed lemonade twice. It is so good I don't think I can ever use a mix to make lemonade again. I've made mojitos twice as well. I have made those a lot over the past few years, and I have to admit that mine are the best I've ever tasted. Every time I get one at a restaurant or bar, I think "mind are better." The trick that I learned from a Cuban lady is to steep the mint. The juicer just makes the job of making mojitos so much faster, and I need fewer limes to get the same amount of juice. Next up, I want to try the recipe that came with the juicer for citrus mint iced tea.
Tomorrow night I get to see one of my favorite bands, the Get Up Kids. In a couple weeks, I get to see another awesome band, HelloGoodbye. Later this month, D and I will be going to Cedar Point and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We will drive there in one day, go to the park two days, and drive to the hall of fame the third day, and then drive home in one day. Then I have a meeting the next day for work, and then one more week of freedom before going back for good.
I love summer.
Also, I'm thinking about another tattoo. Last summer, after our failed IVF and beginning the new path of childfree living, I spent a bit of time tending to our garden and various plants. I noticed this wicked stem growing out of our day lilies, but it looked different. D and I joked that it was a triffid (from Day of the Triffids), but I let it go to see what it became. It turned out to be an asiatic lily, starts out orange, and then goes pink. Orange represents happiness, optimism, imagination, and hope. Pink represents long-lasting love, healing, and romance. The lily can represent fertility and death. That seems appropriate. ;) I don't know how the plant got into our flower bed, especially since asiatic lilies grow from bulbs. But I love it. So anyway, I want the asiatic lily to be my next tattoo. Maybe, since the flower has "freckles", I will have the artist put our little embryos as two of the freckles. It depends how big it is though, I guess. I'm thinking upper quadrant of my back, but I'm still in the "thinking about it" phase.
So far I have made fresh-squeezed lemonade twice. It is so good I don't think I can ever use a mix to make lemonade again. I've made mojitos twice as well. I have made those a lot over the past few years, and I have to admit that mine are the best I've ever tasted. Every time I get one at a restaurant or bar, I think "mind are better." The trick that I learned from a Cuban lady is to steep the mint. The juicer just makes the job of making mojitos so much faster, and I need fewer limes to get the same amount of juice. Next up, I want to try the recipe that came with the juicer for citrus mint iced tea.
Tomorrow night I get to see one of my favorite bands, the Get Up Kids. In a couple weeks, I get to see another awesome band, HelloGoodbye. Later this month, D and I will be going to Cedar Point and the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. We will drive there in one day, go to the park two days, and drive to the hall of fame the third day, and then drive home in one day. Then I have a meeting the next day for work, and then one more week of freedom before going back for good.
I love summer.
Also, I'm thinking about another tattoo. Last summer, after our failed IVF and beginning the new path of childfree living, I spent a bit of time tending to our garden and various plants. I noticed this wicked stem growing out of our day lilies, but it looked different. D and I joked that it was a triffid (from Day of the Triffids), but I let it go to see what it became. It turned out to be an asiatic lily, starts out orange, and then goes pink. Orange represents happiness, optimism, imagination, and hope. Pink represents long-lasting love, healing, and romance. The lily can represent fertility and death. That seems appropriate. ;) I don't know how the plant got into our flower bed, especially since asiatic lilies grow from bulbs. But I love it. So anyway, I want the asiatic lily to be my next tattoo. Maybe, since the flower has "freckles", I will have the artist put our little embryos as two of the freckles. It depends how big it is though, I guess. I'm thinking upper quadrant of my back, but I'm still in the "thinking about it" phase.
Friday, June 24, 2011
showers
My best friend (aside from my sister) is pregnant, due in September. Because we are so close, I volunteered to throw her a baby shower. Luckily, she isn't very girly, so it will be a co-ed shower, so no typical "smell the diaper" game, just a cookout where people brings gifts as well as their own booze. I was doing pretty good, planning the date and time and invitations. But yesterday, as I looked at the paper invitations for the older crowd who don't do email, it hit me that I will never have someone planning this kind of thing for me. So I had a good cry last night, got out all of that, and then when my cats came to cuddle with me, and I got to sit in my bed and read into the wee hours of the morning, I was hit again by how good my life is. It may be different from what I thought it was going to be, but I still love it. Even if I won't ever get to register for (and have a party to receive) gifts again. :)
Saturday, May 21, 2011
busy busy busy
End of the school year is always crazy, so there's that.
D and I went to DC last weekend, and packed in a LOT of activities and a TON of walking.
My sister and her husband moved across the country to our city, and are currently staying with us until they have had a couple paychecks and can find a place to live.
Throw in some mother-in-law drama and you have my last two weeks.
D and I went to DC last weekend, and packed in a LOT of activities and a TON of walking.
My sister and her husband moved across the country to our city, and are currently staying with us until they have had a couple paychecks and can find a place to live.
Throw in some mother-in-law drama and you have my last two weeks.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
confirmation
I know I've been enjoying life and my job more this school year, but tonight I got confirmation from the students.
For the past 10-ish years, I've been a judge for the boy beauty pageant at my school (it's a fundraiser for charity). It's always a good time. Last year, in the midst of infertility treatments, I know I was probably mostly a shell of my usual self, going through the motions, still bonding with some kids, but definitely not loving my job (or anything else, really). They introduce the judges individually, and last year (two months after the failed IVF), when they said my name, it was almost complete silence, maybe some polite applause. I joked with my friend next to me that I must have been a bitch that year since I had no fans. I think I was right, because this year, when they said my name, there was a lot more shouting and applause, and some of the kids shouting my nickname, so that felt really good. It told me that I am back on track to being my normal self and my normal teacher self that connects with the kids and that they like.
So yay!
For the past 10-ish years, I've been a judge for the boy beauty pageant at my school (it's a fundraiser for charity). It's always a good time. Last year, in the midst of infertility treatments, I know I was probably mostly a shell of my usual self, going through the motions, still bonding with some kids, but definitely not loving my job (or anything else, really). They introduce the judges individually, and last year (two months after the failed IVF), when they said my name, it was almost complete silence, maybe some polite applause. I joked with my friend next to me that I must have been a bitch that year since I had no fans. I think I was right, because this year, when they said my name, there was a lot more shouting and applause, and some of the kids shouting my nickname, so that felt really good. It told me that I am back on track to being my normal self and my normal teacher self that connects with the kids and that they like.
So yay!
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