Friday, July 30, 2010

It has stayed in my head

Okay, so I had a meeting today for work, and I was talking to a friend/co-worker there, and giving her the update on my emotional status. A part of our conversation was how I felt unsupported from some of my colleagues last school year, and how some of the things they said or joked about were pretty insensitive to the infertile in the room. Then my friend says "well, YOU are fertile; you just had to deal with slow swimmers." While this is technically true (even though I'm sure my age or something was the cause of us only getting three eggs and a chemical pregnancy from the IVF), I don't really think of myself as fertile and my husband as infertile. I think of it as WE are infertile. It just seems like I am putting blame on him if I say it the other way, and all along our TTC path, it was a team effort. His sperm having low motility was a blow to both of us. I never thought "shit, my husband is infertile." I thought "damn, we have some infertility to overcome."

I don't know. That comment about me being fertile and my husband not being fertile kept going round in my head, so I had to get it out. I would hope that if the tables were turned, my husband would think of it the same way that I do.


  1. Totally agree. It's we, not I.

  2. I'm with you. I've always felt like it was our problem - it doesn't matter where the physical problem lies, the end result is the same...infertility.

  3. I'm glad I came across your blog, and this is a great post. Most of our infertility technically is on "my side," and I feel a lot of guilt about it, even though my husband insists that its all about "we." Nice to hear it from someone else, too!