Thursday, June 17, 2010


In my friend group, there are a lot of recent babies. At the last cookout (all friends from my husband's group, you know, HIS friends from before we were married, my friends now too), there were three new moms (babies 7 months, 3 months, 1 month). I avoided them because the moms sort of isolated themselves in their mom club. The three moms sat on a blanket in the front yard with the babies, while everyone else was in the back yard playing the washer game and launching water balloons. Since I don't have the prerequisite to be in their club, I barely talked to any of them.

Last night, we hosted an impromptu poker night. The guys played poker in the basement, and the girls talked upstairs. Only one mom in the bunch, and she brought the baby. I held him and played with him, and it felt like old times when I ALWAYS wanted to hold and play with babies. I didn't even get sad when I had to give him back because while I can enjoy their cuteness, I can also focus on the hassle of all the crap that goes with bringing a baby anywhere. I counted two bags of stuff plus the carseat/baby carrier.

So I've learned that I CAN enjoy babies and even talking to the mom about mom stuff when it doesn't feel like they have formed a club that I can never join. So I guess one at a time is best. When they gang up on me, I can't handle it. Maybe someday.


  1. Ack ... ganging up SUCKS! But one on one is definitely more manageable.

    Hubby & I have started an ongoing thing when we *do* fall into the trap of gaggles of parents. Usually when we get a spare moment of our own, either one of us might turn to the other and say, "Now aren't you glad we don't have to deal with that?"

    It's silly, I know. Because sometimes it could be the best thing in the world like watching a baby walk for the first time, or teaching my niece a new word ... but it helps. It helps lessen the hurt.

  2. You're right. I hate being the odd person out in a crowd (& feeling like all eyes are on me if I'm holding a baby). Smaller groups are much more manageable.

  3. I think we all need to find a way to hang out. I am the last of a very large group of friends on my side and my husband's not to have kids, and even though I have had a lot of time to try to deal with it, it's still hard, especially when that's what 90% of the conversations are about - their kids. I can only relate stories about my niece and nephew. So, instead, I end up hanging out a lot with my friends who are younger than me. And, that's OK, too.