Wednesday, November 25, 2009

friends Thanksgiving

So some of my friends are big in the bar scene, and they have arranged a private day at one of their favorites for us to have a friends Thanksgiving. Most of the people that are going to be there know nothing of our infertility struggles; the ones who do know have been pretty supportive.

But then I found out someone else is going to be there too. They all talked her in to going. A few months back, she announced her pregnancy online. I said "congratulations!" just like everyone else did. She then deleted me from her friends list. I was a little thrown by this. She emailed me and basically said "I guess you noticed that I deleted you. I just don't want to feel guilty every time you comment about me being pregnant. Good luck with your life." Now, I can kind of understand her wanting to keep her emotional state in the neutral area and not feel guilty because an infertile dared to be positive about her unplanned pregnancy. But then I think about how this particular online site has FILTERS, so I emailed her back and said something along the lines of "well, you could just make a filter and exclude me from it. By deleting me, you also now cannot read anything that happens in my life." She never responded. Which completely tells me that she was never a very good friend in the first place.

Well, now she is going to be at this Thanksgiving dinner. I was really looking forward to it, thinking I could have a day where I'm not bombarded with infertility reminders. But she will be there, with her pregnant belly, as a huge reminder that some people have it so easy, and will never understand what I am going through, and just don't care to even try.

So my solution is to try to avoid her, and to get mildly drunk.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. That stings. She deleted you so she wouldn't have to feel guilty being happy??? Imagine being on your end... constantly trying to be happy for people even though you're hurting. Ouch. I agree, she must not have been a good friend in the first place. What you wrote back to her was right on. She must've agreed because she didn't have anything to say in response. Good luck at the dinner. Don't let her being there ruin the reason for the dinner in the first place.