drunk advice

Last night, D and I met up with some friends at Oktoberfest. Great food, great beer, awesome time. One of our friends knows that D and I have been trying, but doesn't know all the details about our fertility issues. She waved me over (after I don't know how many beers) to have a "private" conversation. She asked me how it was going, so I told her that I had to have surgery on Monday (tomorrow, yikes!) to remove a fibroid from my uterus. She didn't know what that meant, so I explained to her what it was and what problems it can cause. Then she told me that D and I should have lots of sex, and asked if I knew when I was ovulating. Because she was drunk, I just smiled and said yes. I realized it was pointless to explain infertility to her. After this, every five minutes or so, she would wave me over and say "I don't really know anything, but I think you're going to have a girl." Okay. Then she waved me over again, and asked if I was "on my cycle." I thought that meant if I was on my period, so I said it just finished. She then replied with "I think tonight's the night." Sure. We'll get pregnant, magically, and then I'll go for surgery on Monday to scrape it all out. Good timing! Of course, that's why they schedule the surgery for when they do in your cycle...to avoid the magical pregnancy.

Then when she hugged D goodbye, she whispered "have fun, knock her up already." D was a little weirded out by that until I told him about her earlier conversation with me. Then he thought it was hilarious.

In about three hours, I will start drinking the magnesium citrate that is supposed to clean out my bowels, in preparation for the surgery. It's lemon flavored. I bet it tastes awesome.