On the site http://lifewithoutbaby.com/, there is a forum post about the ten best things about not having children. I've been trying to come up with my list, but I haven't quite gotten to ten. I've been working on the transition to thinking positively about our situation.
I recently started reading a book called Some Girls Bite by Chloe Neill. It's about a girl who is changed into a vampire to save her life. Well, she's upset because she didn't choose it. There's a passage that I SOOOOO related to: "I knew I needed to buck up, to let go of what I'd lost and find a way to survive, to thrive, in my new world. But how do you let go of a lifetime of plans? Of assumptions about your life, about who you were and who you were going to be?" (p. 73-74)
And then later: "I could make that choice. Here and now, I could take ownership, take back my life again." (p.119)
Anyway, that's what I've been trying to do. I do have a choice in how I live my life. I can live it in sadness and grief, constantly lamenting what I don't have, or what I didn't get to do. Or I can live it in happiness, treasuring what I do have, and what I do get to do.
So I WILL write a top ten list. This is what I have so far:
1. Sleeping in.
2. Having the freedom to switch my sleep schedule to my husband's on my weekends and summers off (he works night shift).
3. Getting to have spontaneous date nights with no worry about getting a sitter.
4. Having the freedom to watch whatever I want and not worry about appropriateness.
5. I can have all the road rage I want, and swear all I want, and not worry about setting a bad example.
6. I can continue to spoil my kitties with attention and cuddling for hours at a time.
7. I can talk on the phone to my sister for hours with no interruptions.
8. We can take a trip anywhere we want to.