Sunday, November 29, 2009

infertility wall

So the friends Thanksgiving was very fun. The former friend who cut me out was there, and I successfully avoided her. I caught her looking at me a couple times, but I looked away/walked away each time. Maybe that's immature, but I don't care. I'm sure anyone that was there would tell me to be nice to the pregnant woman. But she had no consideration for being nice to the infertile, so I don't care.

I have another friend there who recently had a miscarriage. I recognized the determination in her face that it takes to be around a pregnant woman or around someone with a small baby (both of which were there). Weird how once you've dealt with infertility, you can sometimes recognize the same emotions in someone else.

Last spring a bunch of teachers and I went to a conference. Of course, the nosiest woman there asked one of the guys who has been married for a while if he and his wife had kids or were going to. He responded with "not yet" and then immediately cast his eyes down. I responded that way so many times in the last year. It made me wonder if he and his wife were dealing with infertility or if I was just projecting.

Anyway, I'm able to handle pregnancy talk and pregnancy announcements much easier this holiday season. IVF looming on the horizon has renewed my hope and optimism.

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