last day

Today was my last day of work for the summer! So today was the goodbye meeting for all the teachers leaving the building/district. We get breakfast and social time before that part starts. One of my department co-workers got engaged last night. Most people simply said congratulations, but the few jokers have to pipe up with "oh, is she pregnant?" If it had been said just a couple times, I could have handled it, but they kept going on and on and on and on with the joke until I got fed up and left the table. I think some of them finally realized that joking about accidental pregnancies might be a little insensitive to the infertile sitting at the table. And yes, they all know that D and I won't be having kids, and they know the reason for it. I think they figured it out because as soon as I returned to the table, they immediately started asking me about our upcoming trip to Phoenix. It felt sudden and awkward, but it was nice that they changed the subject and were making an effort to include me in the conversation.

And now I have the summer to further my transition into non-momhood so that their stupid jokes won't piss me off so much. :)

Holidays

Today, I'm thinking about all the mothers that I know and all the "non-mothers" I know that long to be a mother as well. Some of them have been through hell, and today I celebrate their strength and perseverence.

questions and advice

So this weekend, I have been asked by three different people if Dave and I are pregnant or are thinking about trying. I responded with the truth to all of them "We were trying, but we can't get pregnant. We even tried in vitro and it didn't work. So now we won't be having kids." All of them rolled with it fairly well, and changed the subject pretty quickly. Of course, they all asked or mentioned adoption. With adults, I can answer well enough. When it's one of my students who has been adopted, it's a little trickier. For them, adoption is awesome; they don't understand how difficult and emotionally draining it can be on the other end.

And then one of my friends, who knows all about our struggles the past two years, sent me an email telling me of some success story woman she knows who did 6 IUI's and 1 IVF without success. And then, lo and behold, she tried acupuncture, and got pregnant naturally. So I reminded this friend that we have male factor infertility, so unless the woman getting acupuncture somehow improved her husband's motility, it really doesn't apply. (I said it in a slightly less bitchy tone though!)

And then my ex-husband, who only recently found out about our infertility struggles, emailed me after I made a post on Facebook with a few links for Infertility Awareness Week (I guess I kind of "came out" to everyone with those). He felt bad for basically wasting my best fertile years when he was on the fence about having kids. I told him I didn't blame him; when we split up, I always knew there was a chance that I might not have kids, especially if it took me a while to find the perfect person for me. Luckily, it didn't take long to find D, but the baby thing still didn't work out. And even if my ex had made up his mind earlier in our marriage, I wouldn't have been the same person or the right place to meet D.

I was very proud of myself though. It was actually fairly easy to answer their questions, and I didn't have a meltdown at all!

Vegetable Garden 2010 update: We have sprouts!